The Decision

Colton is fitted with hearing aids and we get them on September 2. Within minutes of getting them on, I called his name and he immediately turned to me. That was a tender moment. Over the next 6 months we watch him to see if he gets any benefit from them. When we can get him to keep them in his ears. It is a constant game that he plays. He pulls them out, we put them in, he pulls them out again. We are continuing physical therapy and we get him moving. Then it is even more fun because he pulls them out and then crawls away.

Colton's zebra striped hearing aids.

By January 2011 he is wearing them every waking moment and will actually leave them in most of the time. We don't see much benefit from them. On good hearing days he seems to respond to loud noises, like clapping and the boys running through the house. But he isn't trying to talk, or imitate sounds.

We start learning sign language. At first the other boys love it. They think it is pretty cool to learn a new language. After a while, they get bored and don’t care. Colton is just a baby who doesn’t talk. They don’t understand why we need to sign to him. They don’t care so much about it anymore. It adds a new stress trying to find the balance between Colton and his needs and the other boys.

Deciding to do cochlear implants is not an easy decision. Everyday we go back and forth. The idea of putting my still very small baby through yet another surgery just makes me sick to my stomach. We can learn sign language and he can still live a full life. But he has brothers. I don’t want him to feel left out. I don’t want him to be at family gatherings and not be able to talk to anyone. There is a chance of them not working for Colton because of the Auditory Neuropathy. Do we want to put him through a major surgery and have it not work? I wouldn’t wish this decision on anyone.

We talk to people. We meet many wonderful kids, with and without implants. We visit the deaf school and there is such a special feeling there. We see the implant working for many. We decide we want it all for Colton. We need to try everything that we can for him. So we will do the implants and continue to sign with Colton. It is the first time we get a sense of peace about the whole thing. We have made the decision.

Learning about implants and signing has been overwhelming. We have to accept that our whole life will change. Our whole life style. Colton will need therapy for years to help him learn how to listen with the implant. It may not work for him very well, or he might take off. We don’t know. He will start going to school at age 3. Learning sign language is hard. The boys pick it up faster than we do, when they want to. We are getting better and we are anxiously awaiting for Colton to start signing back to us. Everyday we pray that we have made the right decision for Colton and that things will fall into place. At this time, we are again in a waiting game. We hope that Colton will be healthy enough for his surgery and that the implant will work for him. We are trying to find the balance between his needs and our families needs. And we continue to celebrate the small victories.

Colton on his 2nd birthday. It is the day that he finally decided that he could walk!

Waiting to see the audiologist. We used the hat to help Colton keep his hearing aids on.